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Did you know that you could implement erotic humiliation into your relationship by controlling how one dresses? It is a simple yet powerful way to exert your domination while heightening her emotions. Our culture places emphasis on the attire we wear. The powerful dress differently than a line worker does. Blue coller personnel wear different clothing than do white collar. Often, status is reflected in the way someone is dressed.
When playing in the BDSM world, you can remove someone’s status by changing her attire. For example, those who are involved in adult-child (or teacher-student) can dress according to the part. Having a sub go out in public dressed as a little girl will certainly garner some attention. Also, you can remove the gender identity by having one cross dress. Getting the attention of others in public certainly adds to the emotional element of this play.
Another avenue to pursue is that of slut/whore. I find extreme pleasure in having a sub dress up like a street walking prostitute. Then, I like to take her to a nice restaurant. It is always a pleasure to see the looks that she receives. Nothing like a short mini skirt to turn some heads.
Erotic humiliation is meant to increase the emotional experience of any situation. Playing around with different outfits will create a different experience. This is definitely one way to spruce up the mundane.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, dom, erotic humiliation, sex, sub
Humiliating someone verbally is an important component of erotic humiliation. I find that the verbal aspect enhances the physical aspect of humiliation. All emotions that arise from the physical aspect are intensified with the proper terminology.
Many people, even those who are not into BDSM, utilize this concept. The tendency to use “degrading” words during sex helps to increase the pleasure of that experience. Words such as “slut”, “whore”, and “bitch” can achieve this end.
Before engaging in any type of humiliation, it is important to communicate with the sub what is appropriate to her. Many have emotional issues that were not dealt with. Experiences such as rape, molestation, and abuse are often triggered during a scene if One is not careful. A sub needs to be of sound mind before engaging in this type of behavior.
Also, it is helpful to monitor how the subs stands in terms of self esteem. It is important to understand that erotic humiliation falls under the category of “play”. This is something that people do for fun. However, if one has esteem issues, she might not be able to separate the two. Under these circumstances, she could take the play to be reality. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Our words can lift up or they can tear down. Utilizing verbal erotic humiliation to enhance a BDSM scene is a wonderful path to follow. Just be sure that your words are not truly tearing her down.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, erotic humiliation, esteem, sex
There is something about slapping someone in the face that is considered one of the ultimate acts of degradation in our society. We see this activity in movies all the time, usually when a man approaches a woman inappropriately. This is typically followed by a drink being thrown in his face. Nevertheless, that is Hollywood and might not accurately reflect society in general.
However, there is something about being slapped in the face which we find demeaning. I do not profess to understand why this is, yet going on this assumption led to wonderful results in my BDSM interaction. It is an action which can be used to heighten the mood of a scene.
Before going any further, I must mention the all important safety tip. When we mention slap, we are referring to the act of striking someone with an open hand. This is not a close fisted punch. The idea is to provide a bit of a sting without hurting the other person. I write this because many seem to lack commonsense.
There are many subs who will have their experience heightened when you add face slapping to your routine. As mentioned, there is something that is wonderful humiliating about being slapped in the face. This is even more powerful when you do it to one who is bound. The idea of being totally defenseless while being slapped provides intense pleasure for many.
What is the pleasure in this? Everything involved within BDSM has to do with feelings. It is the feelings behind any activity which O/one is after. This is true whether one is a Dom or sub. Sexual activity is done because of the way it feels. Everything has to do with the feelings associated with an act.
Subs want to experience the feeling of being controlled. Erotic humiliation is something that further enhances this concept. When One has the capability to degrade another, it shows the hierarchy of power. Slapping someone in the face at His or Her will exemplifies the position of control. Try to implement this the next time you want to increase the intensity of your BDSM scene.
Technorati Tags: bdsm technique, dennis najee, erotic humiliation, face slapping
This is something that we discussed a few times on this blog. It is one of the main components of many BDSM relationships. The majority of interactions, whether it is a single scene or a long term relationship, has this as a part of the play. It is a wonderful way to create the hierarchy that is necessary in any BDSM interaction.
Erotic humiliation is the act of verbally or physically embarrassing another. It is a technique that many Doms/Masters utilize for added pleasure. This is also something that I found many subs enjoy. As mentioned, it is a way that the Dom/Master asserts more control.
Calling one names that are degrading is something that is not condoned within our society. People are taught from a young age to not let others treat them in this manner. That all changes within the BDSM community. There are many who enjoy the degrading treatment which comes from a Dom/Master. To them, it can be a badge of honor.
Submission is something that most cannot understand. Many who look at our way of life from the outside cannot understand how one can give his or her power to another. Of course, anyone who submitted understands completely. Along those lines, many subs enjoy being called terms which are considered degrading by those on the outside. It is added stimulation for both partners. Personally, I like the feeling of control which comes from calling one such “taboo” terms. I imagine the subs feel the same way from the opposite perspective.
As you know by now, I am big on safety. The mental makeup of a sub is very important before engaging in this form of play. If one is not stable mentally, it is best to avoid this entirely. The line between play and degradation will get blurred if she is not of sound mind. This is something reserved only for those who can handle it.
Technorati Tags: alternative lifestyle, bdsm, D/s, erotic humiliation, M/s, orgy, sex, submission
This is for all those who love the BDSM lifestyle and poetry. It is a book of over 100 poems about life as a slave as recited to me by one with more than 20 years in the lifestyle. Many found it moving in our test research as I am sure you will also. Here is a sampling of one:
He is Master as she is slave
He is Strong as she needs His strength
He is Wise as she needs His wisdom
He is Kind as she needs His kindness
He is Loving as she needs His love
He is Teacher as she needs to learn
He is Trusting as she needs His trust
He is Master as she is slave
He is Master as she is slave
He is Truth as she needs the truth
He is Punishment as she needs the lessons
He is Honest as she needs honesty
He is Laughter as she need to laugh
He is Comfort as she needs to cry
He is Safety as she needs to be safe
He is Master as she is slave
He is Master as she is slave
He is Map as she finds her way
He is Light as she needs to see
He is Food as she needs to feed
He is Answers as she asks the questions
He is Knowledge as she to know
He is Reward as she needs to be rewarded
He is Master as she is His
Check out this exciting new book “Words of Submission” here.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, erotic humiliation, erotic poetry, sex
As we mentioned repeatedly, the world of BDSM is varied and diverse. There are many avenues for one to pursue. However, whatever your choice might be, do not expect others outside the lifestyle to understand. There are certain things pertaining to this way of life that are beyond comprehension by those who are not involved. Part of this stems from the inability to articulate why we do some of the things that we do.
This misunderstanding can also occur within the lifestyle. There are so many facets that it gets difficult to comprehend some of what others do. For me, I still cannot grasp the concept of submission. I am a Dom so this is to be expected. Theoretically, I get the inner need to serve another. Yet the feeling obviously eludes me. The same can occur when a sub/slave encounters a “pain slut”. One who enjoys pain is foreign to those who do not. It is a stark difference within the lifestyle.
I had the experience of trying to explain to one outside this way of life why a slave does what she does. The end result was that this woman did not understand. Fortunately, I did not expect her to . I knew that this was something that was beyond her grasp. Her viewpoint matches that held by 99% of the women out there. However, the 1% (Or whatever the percentage is) who are slaves understand completely.
I wrote in past it is often best to not mention one’s choice of entering into BDSM. Sadly, it is something that is still misunderstood. This is especially true for anyone who is involved in the M/s aspect of this life. That is the reason why I wrote An Owned Life, in an effort to clear up some misconception. Nevertheless, there is still a stigma that is applied to those who live this way.
Technorati Tags: alternative lifestyle, bdsm, erotic humiliation, orgy, sex
One of my highest values in life is freedom. Many talk about this concept yet few realize it. A lot of us are slaves to our jobs. We show up each day so that we are able to meet our financial responsibilities. At the same time, we are continually influenced by the beliefs and ideas of society. It is this conditioning that steals our freedom.
BDSM is something that is frowned upon by the “normal” people. Those who partake in this way of life are viewed as perverted and sick. That is the generally accepted belief. However, those involved have chosen to live in a manner which is accepting to them. This choice is the path to freedom.
The technique of erotic humiliation is a prime example of how we can reject commonly accepted principles. “Degrading” another is frowned upon in this era. Calling someone a name such as slut, whore, bitch, or piece of meat is often met with an angry reaction. Society trains us to believe this is wrong. However, there are many who really enjoy this technique. This degradation really enhances their pleasure, especially during sex.
BDSM is something that is considered non-mainstream, thus making us non-conformists. Most of us know the price we paid trying to conform. Society tells us that relationships need to take on a certain look. It is between a man and a woman who interact until they decide it is time to make the lifelong commitment. This is the prevailing model for relationships. Of course, this is a mold that many of us did not fit into. We discovered there was always something “wrong” or “missing” when we tried to live according to the commonly accepted belief.
I know that BDSM is not for everyone. At the same time, I believe this is also true for a traditional relationship. There are many who are ideally suited for BDSM, yet succumb to the pressure of society. Submissiveness is a quality that is deemed a sign of weakness. Making the decision to be involved in BDSM opens up one to rejection by family and friends. Nevertheless, it is also one that leads down the path to freedom.
BDSM is right for some people. Many of us know the feeling of “being home” when we accept this as a part of our life. Getting in touch with that inner core which tells us that we are either dominant or submissive while giving us an avenue to satisfy that inner calling is a wonderful feeling. Living life according to what is true for oneself is what freedom is. And, this is what the BDSM lifestyle offers.
Technorati Tags: alternative lifestyle, bdsm, D/s, erotic humiliation, M/s, sex, submission
This is an act that is held in negative view by most of society. It certainly is not the quality that most cultures promote as being something one wants to strive for. Those who are submissive are looked upon as weak. Power and control are qualities which are held as valuable. The successful all have these as their foundation.
Yet when we look a little deeper, it is realized that our society does hold submission with high regard. The difference is that the term is not used. There are two areas where we are told submitting is in our best interest. Between these two, hundreds of millions of people (if not billions) are told to surrender to a Master. Again, they do not use these exact terms yet it is what is really occurring.
The first is religion. Most disciplines teach that one needs to surrender to the “will of God”. It is only by turning our lives over that we can achieve eternal happiness. If we pray each day for what God wants for us, we will lead the life that is of value. Notice the word submit is absent. Yet this is precisely what is being asked. We are to allow something other than ourselves run our lives. It is through the act of surrendering that we find peace and freedom.
Our government is the other area which tells us to put our trust in something other than ourselves. Of course there is no asking for submission. However, we are promised all kinds of things in return for our votes. Each year more people get on the government dole. It is the compassionate thing to do according to our leaders. In doing so, these people are told where to live, what to spend the money on, and when they receive the money. It is when they submit, all will be taken care of for them. Again, submit is not used but we are actually seeing that taking place.
If the two largest entities in the world want to promote submission to them as something one should do, how come it is not acceptable for an individual to submit to another? Consider this fact when you are confronted with those feelings that arise due to your social conditioning. In reality, society wants you to submit, they just want to dictate who you submit to.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, D/s, humiliation, lifestyle, M/s, slave, submission
Taking one’s online relationship to the real world can be an exciting step. It is why most entered into the relationship to begin with. However, it is crucial that one take a safe approach to meeting a new Master/Dom. The precautions should be the same regardless of how long the interaction has been going on.
The Internet is a great way for people to become something they are not. We have all read the stories about people meeting others in person after an online relationship to meet with horrific consequences. Predators come in all forms. What can start as a wonderful experience can turn quickly. Following some of these suggestions can be helpful.
1. Tell a friend what you are doing: Make sure this person has your name, address, phone number (home and cell), car make/model, and tag number.
2. Let this person know the time and place of your meeting. Again have the name of location, address, phone number, and room number if staying overnight.
3. Provide all details that you have of the person you are meeting. Give name, what site you met on, username, instant messenger handles, and an other information you have. If you have a phone number and address, provide that too.
4. Establish times that you will call during your meeting. Start with 15 minutes, then move to an hour, than a couple of hours. Even if you get into a scene, make sure that you take a break to call your friend.
These are some simple but effective ways to ensure your safety. Mention this to your new Master before you meet. Anyone who is real will not have a problem with you taking these steps. If you do meet with some resistance, that is a warning sign. No matter how terrific someone seems online, taking an unnecessary risk with your safety is not worth it. It is better to err on the side of caution.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, D/s, erotic humiliation, M/s, safety
There often is a great debate as to what is the difference between a slave and a sub. Many will argue that they are both the same with no difference between the two. I surmise this is the minority viewpoint. However, it is one that is strongly held by those who have it. In my opinion, the two vary significantly.
A slave is one who engages in total power exchange in all areas of his or her life. Through this exchange, the person is property of the Master. No aspect of his/her life is off limits. This is known as being 24/7 within the lifestyle. A slave is owned 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Things such as holiday or vacation are non-existent. This particular method of the lifestyle is complete.
The other side of the equation is a sub. A slave is a sub while a sub is not necessarily a slave. Basically, a sub is one who is desires giving control over to another. He or she is a submissive person in a particular area. The most common area to see this play out is sexually. A sub is not necessarily submissive in all aspects of life. We often see men and women who are powerful in business become submissive sexually. It is how that person chooses to release.
A sub will often limit his or her submission. While engaging in a total power exchange in that areas, the power is limited only to that aspect. Also, the exchange can be temporary in nature. For example, a sub might be submissive to a Dom/Domme during a scene, it ends when that scene is over. A Dom/Domme could engage some erotic humiliation by calling the sub names during the play time. However, after they are done, they go back to an equal basis. It could be inappropriate for One to call a sub a slut or whore outside the bounds of the scene. This shows how there can be a limit to all that can occur within the realm of a sub.
It is best to think of a sub as one who maintains a degree of control over life. This is not true for a slave. He or she has nothing to say once the submission occurs. The main difference is the power exchanged.
Technorati Tags: bdsm, bondage, erotic humiliation, master/slave, sex, sub, submission
